How much more? I have endured more in these last few months than my entire lifetime!
My father is now stage 4 colon cancer! New cancer has formed in his lungs! Origin the colon!
My brother will return to chemotherapy another Six months and then radiation treatments for 3 months everyday for 15 minutes!
My cancer unchanged! Had progressed to stage 2 and has stopped! They are giving me pills to keep it at bay! Right now the least of my worries!
It seems like none of my siblings care about my father's situation other than my brothers. They visit daily and one lives with him! My brother with cancer tries to come on a daily bases but his visits have become kind of few and far between due to his treatment!
I am funding myself return to my depression! I have returned to the stress eating without realizing it! I have not weighed myself but I see the extra pounds coming back under my chins! I catch myself trying to eat at midnight instead of sleeping!
I have no time to plan meals now and have been eating inappropriate foods just to keep up the energy!
Please dear Lord give me a break! My surgery!!!! Ha ha! That's all I think! I have completed the program more than 3 months ago! Still the appeals board has given no decision! I don't see it happening now! It would shock the heck out of me if they come back and say yes you can! So back to the struggle! I have not gone back to the 400s & hope I never do but the lifestyle change will be a never ending battle for me!
I am at dads now! Sitting here doing absolutely nothing but contemplating! Dad is sleeping and my nephew is on the floor watching t.v!
I feel very sad and angry at the same time! Sad that dad has to endure this and angry because I CA not do anything to fix iT! It is just not fair! Why must this all be happening?
I am a God fearing woman! So why is it that all of this is happening to me?