Hello everyone!
I am back!!!! It has been a while since I have been blogging. So much has been happening in my life I couldn't even begin where to tell you! So I'll just fast forward to a couple of days ago.....
I finally had my gastric bypass surgery. It was so much different then what I had expected. I truly recommend that anyone considering this process truly seek professional counseling before even going. Go to those support groups they offer to see the actual affect of the surgery afterwards. I think had I have gone I would have better prepared myself for it. This is day one full day of being home from the hospital for me and yet I still am in so much pain. I hurt myself earlier trying to get in and out of the shower. My husband took my son to the park to play with the neighbor's kids and I decided to take a shower to freshen up myself....BIG mistake! Lifting my leg i stretched my stomach muscles and hurt myself. It doesn't hurt except when i sit or stand up or climb stairs or try to bend. They gave me son Vicodin for pain but in liquid form and man let me tell you that I'd rather be in pain than drink that nasty stuff! It taste that bad!!!
Surgery went well but then i had a set back the day after I developed an infection in my lungs. Doc said it was from anestics. They gave me antibodies and now I am getting better. I feel different!!! As though of piece of me is gone forever. I will never get to enjoy not even in small moderation many many many foods and this saddens me. However in the same light I am willing to do absolutely anything necessary to cure myself of my cancer. This is just the first step to getting there.
My family surprised me however when I was in the hospital. The only visitors I received was my husband and child!!!
NO ONE else came to see me! Nor have they called me either to see if I am ok. Just my mom. Talk about mixed signals. My doctor said that the very first thing that came out of moms mouth the day of surgery was how long was it gonna be before I could drive? What a question! He then proceeded to tell me that she mentioned that I was the "caretaker" of the family and that my father needed me to take him to his chemo and my nephew needed me to babysit him while she worked...
I am baffled! Why not ask did everything come out ok? or something of that sort? But to be concerned for themselves more than me was more than what I could take at that moment! As he spoke I could feel tears coming out of my eyes and he grabbed my hand and said "Ms. Bothi you have nothing to be embarrassed about! We all have people in our lives who think more of themselves than the ones they love." I just nodded and looked away. Then he told me something that holds some true meaning to me now more than ever......
"Worry about yourself for a change!!! You have a large family, or so you have told me..it is time for you to do for you and heal and enjoy this new being you will become! You will see how fast all these new transformations will happen and they are the ones who will miss out!" "Live life for you and your son!"
THANK YOU! Is all i could get out of my tear stained face! This new transformation is so emotional as well as physical! The one person who I truly thought would be done and turn their back on me actually turned out to be the most faithful thru this battle! My husband! He took off work to be there during surgery...then he waited all day for me to come out of recovery...then waited for me to get up and walk. Then he took my son home and cared for him for 4 days without asking for any help! When i walked into my home i expected to see a disaster area and instead found a nice clean apartment. Food ready for him and my son and my bed already tended to and a place with pillows on the sofa for me. Thank you honey!!!
I could go on and on about so many things right now since i have so many emotions overflowing in me right now but I feel the need to got to the restroom so until tomorrow...Remember...
This is for me! I love me and I am worth every moment!