Today started ok! I took my brother to get his pet scan. No people not his pets! But a p. E. T. Scan! To see if he will need more chemotherapy and radiation treatments! I pray we are done! But I really feel like he is not! I pray I am wrong!
My dad's first appointment with an oncologist is this coming week. The 3rd to be exact. I am anxious for him to scan! The sooner the better for me! My life seems to hang in limbo! What fate has decided for me I truly don't know.
I try to remain hopeful but it can be hard at such times as these! I do not want to be my father and wait till it maybe to late. In the same sense I can't make people move! My case is up for review! It has gone to an appeal board. They will meet on Monday to decide my fate! I pray for this so bad! Wuthout it they are handing me a death sentence! I am already progressed and can't wait to much longer. If I go in like this my heart will not survive! So doomed either way! I have never in my life asked for anything other than my son, from God... But I am begging for this for not only me but my child as well!
People say oh you can lose the weight natural! You know how long it took to lose 103 pounds? It would take too long! I don't have this luxury! I wish I did!
Yet I still struggle everyday to make wise choices and be conscious of my daily activities!
Please lord help me help myself! That is all I ask! That is all I pray for myself.
I am not a selfish person! I think it wise of me to at least to ask for my health!