Today was a day I wish never happened!
Started off great! WAS in a good mood! Until the doctor came in and reconfirmed every suspection I had! My father as just diagnosed with Advanced Stage 3 maybe stage4 cancer. It has affected all 9 of his lymph nodes. Now we see a specialist and wait to get redignosed and find out if he is terminally ill! I can't even type this without crying! My mother has taken it just as hard! I don't have words to express how I feel except angry! Angry at all the doctors who pushed him from one doctor to the next! Angry at the hospital for the different diagnoses...prolonging his treatment! Just Angry! My father is everything to me! He came to pick me up when I was only 2years old and my biological mother abandoned me! We were raised by him my brother and I! My mother who is actually my step mom is the only mother I had until I was 22! That is when I met my biological mother for the first time! That is a novel in it's self! All I know is how will ...How am i ... Shit I just don't know! I actually recieved good news about my surgery yesterday and now becoming more optomistic about the surgery happening..but now with this how can I be happy? I am the one Who takes dad to the doctor and all his appointments...if I am recoverying who will do this?
Who will do alot of things when I am unable? I just don't know..................