So many things have happened in the past few days since my last blog entry...
Dad has his surgery and he is doing better physically! He has 5 incisions and one of them is large. They began his surgery laproscopicly and ended it with an open incision. He spent 4days in the hospital and came home! He is still in pain but he is a fighter...guess that is where I get my spirit! When I began to read the discharge papers the unofficial diagnoses was Stage2 colon cancer. However when I questioned the doctor they said it was a guess...not an official diagnoses. The lymph node looked pretty affected. So they suspect stage 3 cancer. Mom doesn't know neither does dad..he goes back on the 19th of this month to remove the staples and get his official diagnoses! I will be there with him!
As for me well things are not going so good anymore! My blood count is off the chart and I am very physically drained! I am taking charge off my nephew who is 2 even though I sometimes can not function physically! I push myself to get up every morning and fall into bed dead tire every night! I fear I maybe pushing myself too far, but what alternative do I have....it is my dad and my son and my nephew who need me! My nephew has nowhere else to go that is familiar to him. I can not say no to my parents! But at what expense am I pushing myself! I went to the doctor and they prescribed me some new pills...which are suppose to help...they don't! I just keep pushing forward!
My weight loss has hit a plateau! I lost 103lbs and hit a snag....the surgery has been pushed around by the insurance company so many times I can not even remember the number now...just to say it has been resubmitted so many times and this will be the last time they can submit it for up to 90 days...So if they deny it I have to wait another 90 days to resubmit! Every error has been on their part not ours, yet they fail to recognize the error and correct it! How can people be so irresponsible with others lives? I just wonder if they can go home at night with a clean conscious? If it were Me,I wouldn't be able to sleep knowing the person I am denying could lose their life while I am contemplating! But hey to each their own!
I am out of the 400's now and never going back!!!!!!never ever ever!!!!
My mobility is so much better and my clothes fit better! I can shop at the places I like now! Not just on line clothing that I can not try on because the sizes are right. I still struggle with healthy food choices...I would be lying if I said I do not! It is a constant battle that I think will stay with me forever! Just today I ate two tacos from taco bell. Not very healthy or very good for me! The other day I let myself drink a vanilla shake...you know how many calories that thing had??? Too many!!!!!
I still exercise and keep up with my physical activities!!! Enjoy walking in the fresh cool air and taking my nephew for a picnic to the park! Even though I feel sick I do not let it get me down! I guess I figure if I stop forcing myself to keep going I will really feel the illness set in and I will go faster. I don't know...All I do know is that I can't give in to the beast who wants me!