Happy weekend people!
Today I awoke with a burst of energy! I have literally spent all day cleaning my house and detailing things I have neglected for a while! As I see the weight drop I feel more and more energetic! It is so refreshing to have that feeling come back! I would always wake up tired and not wanting to start the day..the last few days have been such a breeze!
I called my surgeon yesterday and spoke with my nurse. I am just waiting for the final papers to come back from the insurance and off to surgery I go! It can not come soon enough! I think that all the wanting to clean the house is fear trying to manifest it's self in me! I am afraid they will neglect the house and I come home from the hospital to a pig stye! I am kind of a neat freak when it comes to the house! I hate dishes in the sink and clothes on the floor! I have two boys who do not care where the clothing goes and how to wash a dish! I say I have two boys because the husband acts like a child lately....
We have been having some drama between us lately. He thinks in his tiny little brain of his because he is in my house "We are officially back together." WRONG! I have stressed this to him time and again and still it does not sink in! He is asking for explanations when they are not due, and he is having bits of jealousy rages when I can not be found! People...I do not have anyone else! You could not glue another man to me ever again! I am thru trying to please jerks! I am all about getting healthy and pleasing myself and my son! Nothing or no one else matters to me at this point in my life! (Except my family of course) I think this man's guilt is playing mind tricks on him...If you feel like I'm cheating maybe it's because your cheating yourself? I say to him grow-up!
I want to go back to talking about my food choices lately. Not the best that I have consumed lately. Today I allowed myself to eat pizza. Before I was finished I scarfed down 4 pieces! But let me tell you after I finished I felt really sick to my stomach! That my friends is probably a whole days worth of fat and calories in one eating! It made me so mad! How could I sit there with my kid and actually enjoy eating this crap? But the taste....
Here again I have to ask myself is the taste worth the damage to my body? No! No it's never worth it. You know when I was 20 I became an alcoholic! I would drink everyday with my friends after work, on the weekends, on holidays, at parties, at the club...you get the picture. I drank for every occasion! I remember and still talk about this till today to people who drink, that I got so smashed drinking! A group of friends and myself went to Galveston Island and had a bonfire and drank all night long! I partied so hard! However partying and driving don't mix....I drove myself home that night! I DO NOT REMEMBER THAT DRIVE HOME! I for the life of me can not explain how being so smashed I drove safely across a bridge, and down a long stretch of highway...and down a residential area, to park a car 3 blocks from where I lived and then proceeded by foot to walk to my residence and find myself passed out the next morning on the stairs leading up to my bedroom half dressed! People all around and beer bottles and liquor bottle everywhere! But can not remember who, where, when, or what the hell happened to me that night!
I only mention this because I am no longer embarrassed of that night! The point I wanted to make with this story is all of that had to happen to me before I quit drinking! I could not find my car for 3 days! I report it stolen and that is when the police found it parked 3 blocks from where I lived. Alcoholics do alot to themselves before they say enough is enough! For some they never find that rock bottom to hit! I however, consider myself very fortunate!
My journey with the weight is the same, as with alcohol! I see myself as a food junkie! I do not consume large amounts all the time..don't get me wrong I can grub just like the next person but...I find my problem being the food I eat! Loaded with taste...calories...FAT! Nothing good! So now I have to give myself that extra push to see that all food isn't created equal!
Not all taste is good! So after eating those pizzas, I got back to cleaning and then jumped on the treadmill! Today was my day off exercising, but I decided 4 pizzas slices are not worth the fat! I got on for 30 minutes and later before I go to bed will do another 30 minutes! I can not allow that stuff to settle into my body! Out damned pizza!!! Out you go!!!
I cleaned out my closet today as well!!!yay!!! I got rid of half of my wardrobe! Keeping only the things that still fit ok not to loose. I will definitely be needing new clothes! I can't wait!
Well still waiting for news on the biopsies! They took a double biopsy on my uterus and cervix and ovaries on Monday. Last Friday did a biopsy on my stomach. When he did the E.G.D. said it was inflamed and looked a little different so no news from them I suppose is good news! Or isn't that the saying? Well back to cleaning...Gonna dust, dust the pizza out! lol! How can you dust out pizza? Ya'll get up put on your shoes and get walking! Remember your heart will love you for it!