I have been a busy beaver!
Yesterday turned out ok! My son's party was moved to Incredible pizza instead of chuck e cheese. It was a buffet place. I didn't get to eat before I left to the party and am surprised to say I didn't stuff my face! I had a buffet plate with almost all veggies. Yes veggies. I had salad,(no dressing just lemon) green beans, 1slice of veggie pizza and a jello for dessert. No cake! So I feel pretty good about the day. Today however was a different thing entirely! I had the munchies for some reason! I ate 250 cals over my cal count. But I walked longer to burn it off. I know it doesn't justify my eating but I am only human! I have my faults like everyone else! I can not beat myself up over it!
I think I know what triggered this eating. I got bad news on Friday. My brother was diagnosed with cancer as well. They are running test to see what extent the cancer has gone but I still feel for him. My emotions triggered an eating spree. I have to find a way to control this matter because if I don't I will never win my battle with weight.
I took the leftover cake to my parents house so they could have it. Do not need temptation in my house! Any how it is late and I must get my son into the shower and ready for bed. He has school tomorrow! I have a doctor's appointment. They are a way of life for me now a days. I can't wait till this is all over and I have my final surgery for the cancer and am thru with all of this!!!! That will be the greatest day of my life! So till tomorrow....Have a blessed night!

Sorry people I haven't been keeping up my blog lately. Today is a very special day for me! Today is my baby's 9th birthday! I will be taking him to chuck e. cheese. (a pizza place for kids) I will not however be eating the pizza. I will eat before I leave. My week as a roller coaster ride for me. Having my good days and then my bad. Most of the week I would have to generalize as kind of bad. I as having an episode of divarticular disease. (diverticulitis) Those who suffer from this knows if it goes full blown you end up in the hospital for about 4 -5 days. I have had the disease for about 4yrs now. Out of those 4 yrs. only hospitalized 3times. You can control it! It is just like a severe stomach virus only 10x worse. You vomit and have a permanent case of toilet hugging and sitting until it is over. Any who I seem to be finally getting over it and am glad with a capital G! It probably made me lose like 5lbs this week.(haha)
Going back to my journey with weight loss....Been going to water aerobics and it is fun but you can feel it when you get out of the water. Sorry just got company will have to come back to finish.....

Today has been full of trials for me.
Yesterday my parents had a bar-b-que and had some yummy food! The good thing was that they were considerate enough to include healthy things as well! I ate the good stuff(good for me) and left the rest. But today was another story! I was late getting up. I don't know why I heard the alarm but just couldn't manage enough strength to get up on time. So I have no one to blame but myself. Getting back to the point...Being late threw my schedule in a flurry. I didn't have time to make my protein shake or have yogurt. When I got to the doctors I was already hungry. I saw the doc and stayed for about 1hr. Leaving I was famished! So it was easy for me to stop at the cafeteria and have a bagel with cream cheese. CREAM CHEESE PEOPLE!!! I ate it like there was no tomorrow. When I finished I left. Got to my dad's house to pick up my nephew and was finding myself still hungry. Man I haven't been like this in about 4 months now. Well to make a long story short went home and cooked lunch. Which seemed to me like dinner. After that I left to pick up my son and drop off my nephew. Came home again and ate again! Not alot, but none the less ate. Now I am craving ice cream. My weakness!! Good thing there isn't any in my home! I'm tired so feel lazy to go out and get any. At least I know I won't fail in that aspect.
Just by not having one meal my whole diet plan for the day was thrown for a loop! It is very important to eat breakfast! It really does fuel your day.I can not believe myself as I add all the calories for the day. I am over by 300calories. That is alot for me. I'm praying that tomorrow is a better day!

Starting another glorious weekend! Yesterday was not a good food day for me. I ate ice cream!!! My weakness!!! My son brought me some home from being with his dad and I just couldn't resist it. After I ate it, it bothered me! I have done so well thus far and I didn't want to beat myself from eating just one little ice cream cone. So I moved on not dwelling on it anymore. What done is done. I will just try not repeat this over and over. That is the difference in now and then for me people. Then I would have kept eating more ice cream and not thought twice about it. Now when I eat it I feel remorse, not wanting to repeat my past mistakes. My dieting is the same. I have kept in schedule with the tip I learned from the biggest loser. I keep changing the order in which my meals are heaviest. I usually start my days with a protein shake. Sometimes I change it to eat oatmeal, and sometimes I have yogurt with berries. Other times I have a yummy fiber cereal. So when it comes to lunch I usually have a chicken salad or some kind of salad. Dinner usually consist of 4-5oz of a lean meat (my prefer meat is chicken or turkey) and veggies. I stay completely away from pasta and rice. Anything processed or already made. I like to control how much sodium is in the food and what spices are in there. So sometimes instead of eating the salad I eat the heavy meal at lunch and a light dinner or vise versa. Keeping the order of the meals moving around confuse my body and doesn't allow it to turn on it's defense mode. I have learned alot from alot of different people and have applied them to my life and journey in weight loss. Some work for me some do not. I am grateful to everyone anyhow for sharing all their stories and success. Without everyone I probably wouldn't have come this far. I have learned though that movement is the key to weight loss. The more you exercise the more your body burns! Move people even if it is 5 minutes at a time. Something I better than nothing!

Hello again! I have some time to reflect today and I wanted to share with you something that was bothering me. I can never understand why people feel the need to stare. A glance is ok, even a look...but a stare? Do you know what that does to person who's self image is not what they want it to be? I went to do laundry on Sunday with my mother at the local laundry place. I got there before she did and began to load my clothes into a machine. I could literally feel someone staring at me. I turn to see this lady and man just staring at me. So I turn back around hoping my mom would get there soon. As I continued to load the machine I felt very uncomfortable. I finished and then sat down close to where the lady and man were sitting. As I sit I see them turn and look at me again. I could not stand it any longer! I don't understand why it bothered me so much,but just something about the way they looked at me...it felt like they were criticizing me. Just then my mom walked in and I began to help her too. She immediately noticed that I was uncomfortable and as me what was wrong. I replied nothing and continued with the loading. When we finished we sat down and began to talk. Then she told me that she had had enough. I ask her of what and just about that time she stood up and walked over to the lady and man. I felt like shrinking! She asked them if they had a problem or did they know me. They answer her no and got up to move. Make a long story short my mother walked by them and heard them criticizing me for my size. How sad! How can see me and only see my size? It makes me sad! People can be so ignorant! How would you feel if I just saw you as being thin or being ugly or being poor or being too rich? How would that feel?
Anyway I finished laundry and came home and guess what I did? Instead of eating.....
I began to look thru old photo albums. Looking back to how I use to look and how far I've come. Don't ever let people like that discourage you! I have battled for five months going on six now. I've lost a total of 62lbs in that time. I have accomplished mobility goals I have set for myself! I have surpassed my doctor's goal for weight loss. So you better believe I am proud of myself! Instead of falling back into my old routine of hiding somewhere and crying. I have once again chosen to face head on the many obstacles that I come into contact with!
Changing the pattern and behavior changes our eating habits and our mentality to food. I've learned to treat my food very differently. There are certain food that I can not keep at home because they are my weakness. These foods I treat as if they were drugs. I say no! Can't have it, won't do it! By not putting myself in the situation to begin with I am saving myself from failure! Indulging in a treat every now and again is another trick I use to not fall back into the old habit of eating incorrectly. Just remember though we still count the calories and watch the portion sizes! I find it hard to get in all the required daily protein into my diet. However when I went to the doc she gave me some tips. In the am eat p.b on your toast if you have toast.(1tsp) eat a boiled egg for snack between lunch and breakfast & incorporate protein into you lunch meal (whether it be meat,fish,or egg.) try another protein source during mid snack (protein bar or shake) then your dinner. I have tried it and find I just can not seem to remember all that protein! I will keep working at it!
I also read that people who are dieting and do not drink some kind of milk or milk products tend to lose less weight than those who did. I personally have always consumed some type of milk product in the am. I make myself a protein shake or fruit smoothie out of skim milk in the morning. A delicious way to start the day! Anyway getting back to what I was reading... they say it is found to be true due to vitamin d deficiency. If you are vitamin deficient (believe it or not most of us are)your body tend to absorb more fat. I didn't write it people! I just read it and thought I'd share. Drink your milk or yogurt! It seems like milk really does the body good!

YEA 4 me!!! That's how I feel!
I went to the doctor yesterday and guess what? I lost another 11.5 lbs! Since being my heaviest in life that is a 69lb decrease! I type it in and can't believe it still!!! Since my weight loss began (medically supervise) I have lost a total of 56lbs. In a 4 month period. I say personally that is great! Realistically I am suppose to lose 5lbs a month. I have surpassed that already. I will never a again be that lady I was. In my journey I have learned so many things about myself that I will never be the same. I refuse to be the same Rebeca. I am changing for the best. I now have been to two of the medical "weight watchers classes" from the doctors I have been seeing. Honestly I find it not to be that informative. I am one who ask a million and one questions and then some! When they ask me did I have questions I did. Guess what people, she didn't have all the answers. I'm sorry! When it is your job to advise and guide people in their journeys please do so! The blind leading the blind will get me nowhere! So I have decided just to join the regular weight watchers program. I have found a group by my home. I just hope they do a better job then the other people did. Is it maybe I have high expectations. IDK! I am a sponge right now! Learning and absorbing all the info I can so I can see what works for me and what doesn't. The biggest loser tip sure paid off for me! I changed it up! Meals always being different in size and food choices. I even allowed myself a day to eat what I wanted. Of course in moderation, but none the less I did enjoy!
My emotional issues are still being addressed and I am working thru them. Some stem from childhood and the majority are from adulthood. Making poor choices in life creates a mess of chaos to clean up later people! So please be wise in the choices you make when you make them.
I am no longer that confused young adult making poor choices, but the few poor choice I did make had large repercussions. I ask my family all the time what they thought of me and the decisions I made in life. Their answer didn't surprise me at all. My parents were somewhat disappointed on the road I traveled. My brothers said they felt ok overall about how I turned out. My sisters however, another story for another time. I only speak to one of my sisters. The other one has issues of her own she needs to work out. None the less I love them both. So with all that in mind decided to really analyze my life and the things I really enjoyed and the things that just really upset me. I found out man did I have issues!:)
Having a rough childhood I feel set me on the road that spiraled out of control. If I sat here and confessed everything I did as a child we would be here for years people. I gave my step mom hell! I felt like she was taking the place of my mother and I didn't like that at all. Today I can honestly say that I don't feel that way about my "mom." I call her my mom because she is my mother. I finally met my biological mother as a young adult and that is here my emotional issues stem from. I will go more into that at another time....
How all this relates to weight loss and food addiction and food related issues????
Due to the relationship I had with my "mom" I learned to eat to comfort myself. After blaming her, I have one thing to say...It wasn't her but me. Me with the anger, me with food and me with all the other issues at hand! Mom if you are reading I am sorry for all the hell I gave you as a child! For all the blame I placed in you, when in reality it was me!
I am a blessed person because of your tough love! Thank you for standing by me when no one else did! Thanks especially for being there for me thru this journey of weight loss and my battle with cancer! Your the best!!!!

Yesterday was a very great day for me! Personally the best and I got to see loved ones I have seen since I was maybe 15-16yrs. old. My cousin Trinidad Andrade got married yesterday by church. I was so awed how beautiful she was! I almost got into the "oh I wish I could get married again stage" then I snapped out of it! What in the world was I thinking! I was proud of myself for many reasons yesterday. #1 being I bought myself a new dress for the wedding and it was a size smaller than I normally wear. #2 I didn't eat any cake!!! Yea for me! #3 I actually didn't eat all of the food they served. Only eating what I knew was good for me. I had fun to say the least.
My week was a fun week with my kid and family. Full of goings and coming! I don't even take the small things for granted anymore. I look forward to even the most simple drive to the store. Some people find this to be a chore,I however don't. I go for a weigh-in tomorrow and to be honest am a little nervous. I know there was one day in particular this week I had to me what seemed like a bad food day. But I think we all do have those times! The difference is knowing that it was a bad day and going on as if it didn't happen. Not dwelling on the negativity of a bad helps us get thru them. If you stay stuck in it your are surely setting yourself up for failure! So let get thru all the bad days together and at the end come out smiling!