Thursday April 15,2010
I think everyone is entitled to have a bad day every now and again. Today was mine! I babysat my nephew at my fathers house and the kid had super powers (i swear he did!) I have never encountered a child with such energy to burn and then some! I wish i could bottle some of that up and drink myself! As I leave to go pick up my son from school i am reminded just how fat i am again! I was at the red light and two thin women were staring and laughing at me. I felt bad for them. And for a minute for myself... You can easily slip back into those feelings you had that made you where you were. I refuse to go back to being that spineless person again. What do they know about me? Nothing!!! So how can they sit there and judge me on my appearance. If they knew me personaly they would see that i am a very nice person and easy to get along with. Fun and beautiful! But they can't see past the weight. How sad! My kid gets into the car and we drive home. He is telling me how his day went but,my mind wonders to that red light. Why? I can't seem to shake that image. You know something i will use it to my advantage though. I will use that negative energy to a positive channel. This can help me to work even harder! It lights the fire even higher than ever because it upsets me how people are ignorant to others feelings. My son one day came to me and said he did not want to wear shorts because his calves were fat. FAT!!! Here is a normal 8 year old boy saying his calves were fat. It made me upset. I ask him why he thought this way? He replied that one of his schoolmates made a comment about how his calves jiggled when they ran the track. Since this comment my son became self conscious about his body. I became even more upset and told him "we are who we are because God gives us the body we have,but you care for body as a temple and take pride in how you present yourself to others. Some people will always judge you no matter what you look like, but in all sweetie you look fine!" He replied "what do you do when people call you fat?" I smiled and told him "i pray for them." He then asked me "Why?" I replied "so that they can one day see with unbiased eyes, and stop judging people on their appearance only." He smiled!
After that he told me "I think i will wear my shorts afterall mom, and if they say something i will tell them they need to find God." I laughed and told him "you do that sweetie, you do that!"
In my journey with weight loss I have become more spirtual. I do not attend church regular,nor do i belong to a specific denomination. However, i do have a strong belief and great sense of the after life. I use this to help guide me thru all my hard times. So i guess today would be no different! Let God guide me and deliver me from forked tongues! Afterall i am a beautiful person inside and working on the outside!